Renascentia
by xstudyinscarletx
Summary: After a fatal mistake, Xellos must find a way to survive in a world--and a life--unfamiliar to him. Xellos POV. Eventual yaoi ZX
1. Demise

Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not my own, I make no claims of ownership!

**Renascentia**

**1: Demise**

It was not my choice. I never asked for it--never wanted it. And so, when it happened, I just...didn't know what to do. It was the most confusing moment of my existence. I had never before felt so completely and utterly lost.

My apologies, perhaps I should start from the beginning. Well, not _the_ beginning, necessarily, but enough of a beginning as to explain just what happened. Let's see, as I recall, it was during one long, dark winter night that I found myself summoned, as I had been many times before, to my Mistress' lair...

"How may I be of service to you, my Lady?" I asked, bowing before the woman to whom I belonged. She was many things to me--my master, my mother, and my creator.

"Hello, Xellos." She smiled, that enigmatic smile of hers, and I knew that there was fun in store--for always there lay wicked plans behind that smile.

"My Lady." I said again, glancing up at her lovely face.

"Rise, and come to me, my darling." She commanded, and I did as such. My knees lifted from the ground and I moved to her side in the quick, graceful manner in which only our kind could. She raised her hand to my cheek, slender fingers running along the illusion of my projected form. I did not feel the warmth of her fingertips, nor the softness of them against my face, but I could certainly feel her power as it washed over me in tangible waves. It was delicious, that power, and I drank it in as does a child from his mother's breast. For she was my mother, and I her child, her favorite you might say. I was envied by all the others, certainly. I was her general and priest; her most consulted advisor; her willing slave; her lover. Not in any physical way, and Mazoku do not have the feelings of mortal love--not with all the complicated emotions, anyway. It was a thing stemmed from deep, true respect and a lust of the power that she held; knowing it was beyond any power I could ever comprehend.

"Do you have an assignment for me, Mistress?" I asked, kissing her hand.

"I do." She replied, dark eyes glittering mischievously--in that dangerous way that always made her so intimidating. She was superior, and she made sure that all those around her knew this.

"Something that will amuse me, I hope?" I mumbled, smirking as she rolled her eyes.

"You are too easily amused, Xellos." She chuckled. "But yes, perhaps. I want you to kill the last golden dragon. The maiden that traveled with Lina Inverse."

"Filia?" I raised an eyebrow curiously. "If that is your desire, my Lady."

"It is. Now go and see it done, before I grow impatient." She ordered, brushing me aside casually. I stepped out of her way, and she walked off into the darkness of nothingness, the howling of wolves swallowing up her echoing footsteps. And without a moments hesitation, I vanished from her home, set on carrying out my orders.

I had never failed my Mistress before--never. It was unthinkable. I would carry out my mission, or die trying. It was as simple of that, and the thought of failure had never even crossed my mind. But that night something happened--something that would change everything...ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself again, aren't I?

I appeared before Lina Inverse and her usual group--that being the overzealous princess Amelia, the stoic chimera Zelgadis, the not-all-there swordsman Gourry, and of course, my favorite violent dragon maiden Filia. I did feel some affection towards the priestess, and it's true that I did not really want to kill her, but my loyalty to Juuou-sama outweighed any of that.

Yes, I would certainly carry out my orders, but I knew very well that making a big scene, as was my usual style, would no doubt lead me to my own untimely end. Lina Inverse and her friends were all very protective of one another, and I was certain that my killing Filia would only spark a deep hatred between us. I did not want this, odd as it may seem. I liked Lina and her friends--well, the princess and the swordsman I cared little about, but Lina herself, Zelgadis and even Filia had managed to find favor in my blackened heart. However, orders were orders, and I was not about to let Lina destroy me.

I appeared behind Filia and grabbed her, cupping my hand over her mouth. All the others saw was her vanish abruptly. I didn't want to take her to the Astral Plane, as that would get into metaphysical issues, so I teleported the both of us into a nearby room. Probably my first mistake, but I was cocky.

"Xello--"

"Sorry, Filia dear..." I began, gathering chaotic energy, static black power crackling around me. It was a shame to kill her, I thought, but there was nothing I could really do.

"Just what do you think you're doing?!" She glared at me, her hand moving down to hover just over her skirt, twitching with anticipation in case she needed her mace.

"It's happened." I told her, keeping my voice serious. This was no time for jokes--even I knew that. "I've been given the order."

"The order...?" She began, but her eyes widened, and I knew that she had figured it out.

"To kill you." I said, moving forward. She gasped, still surprised, though I wasn't sure why. Surely she knew that it could have happened at any time--she was a Ryuzoku, after all. I gathered more power, taking it into my hands, and threw an energy ball at her. She teleported out of harms way, and reappeared behind me, mace in hand. She swung, putting all her force behind it, but I evaded the strike easily. I grabbed her by the wrist and shot a bolt of energy forth, causing her to cry out and drop the mace. I pulled her into my arms from behind, grasping at her neck. My hands wrapped around her throat, my fingers pressing down to strangle her, all the while sending shocks of negative power into her. She would have screamed, I'm sure, but I wasn't really allowing any air, or sound for that matter, in or out. I could feel her throat being crushed beneath my fingers, and I was certain that I had nearly killed her, but she suddenly teleported again. A minute later, Lina burst through the door, her ruby eyes burning with anger.

"_Xellos!_" She seethed, hurtling a fireball at me. I barely dodged it, and looked up just in time to see Gourry run in, an unconscious Filia in his arms. Amelia and Zelgadis soon followed, and I knew then that things were not going to go as smoothly as I had hoped.

"Now, Lina--"

"You bastard!" She hissed, lifting her hands. "Ra Tilt!"

"Wind!" Zelgadis' voice rang out against the sorceress', and her spell was detoured slightly, giving me just enough of a chance to dodge what should have been certain death. It did not miss me entirely, however, and I hit the ground in a mutilated heap, struggling to maintain my projected form.

"Zelgadis! Why the hell did you do that?!" Lina shouted, turning on the chimera.

"Zelgadis-san!" Amelia cried as well. I was just as shocked as them.

"You won't touch her, Xellos." Zelgadis told me, his voice deadly serious. I could see the anger boiling within him--but this only confused me further. Why hadn't he let Lina kill me?

"Unfortunately, orders are orders." I explained, coughing a bit as I pulled myself up. I swayed on my feet, trying to focus my thoughts. The pain was both beautiful and terrible--my masochistic nature warring with my physical fight for survival.

"Don't touch her, Xellos." He said again.

"I'll have to kill you, Zelgadis-san, if you insist on standing in my way." I replied, not at all wanting to do such a thing.

"Well, I'm going to have to stand in your way." He said after a moment, stepping up. I believe Amelia's eyes were shining, and she moved beside him.

"Me too!" She shouted passionately.

"Yeah, same here." Lina nodded, stepping up on the other side of him. They stood as a barrier in front of Gourry and Filia, quite obviously intending to fight me with everything they had for their friend's life. I couldn't go back on orders, however, and so I would have to fight back, even if I killed them, or was killed.

"I would much prefer it if you all gave up--this is really between Filia and I." I mumbled, gathering my power again.

"It's our business now, Xellos." Lina replied, her eyes narrowing as she drew on her own energy.

"If you insist on this...I'll just have to eliminate you all." I told them, lunging forward. I met Lina first, but our power clashed head on, and canceled out. Amelia was nothing, and I threw her aside easily, heading for Gourry, who was reaching for his sword even as he tried to hold onto Filia. Zelgadis reached me first, however, and he shoved me back, calling out Astral Vine even as his sword came flying towards me. I shielded the blow, and he dropped the sword, which caught me off guard. I let down my barriers, a mistake on my part, and he grabbed me by the shoulders, slamming me up against a wall. My injured state had hindered my fighting abilities greatly, and I was weak. If either he or Lina had hit me with another Ra Tilt, possibly even one that hadn't called upon outside power, I would have been finished. Zelgadis met my gaze, his slate blue eyes unreadable.

"You can kill me, or I can kill you." I said, staring right back. "Which will it be?"

"You'll die." He growled, tightening his hold on me, but he hesitated.

"Why didn't you let Lina kill me?" I asked. He glared fiercely at me, but said nothing. "Hmm? She would have, had you not interfered. Why did you?"

"Because..." He looked for a moment like he would kill me right then, but he did not. "I don't know. Just go." I could hardly believe his words--he was letting me go? Impossible.

"I have to kill her." I objected.

"Like I said, you'll have to kill me first." I looked at him, then suddenly pressed my hand over his chest, just above his heart, and let my power flow into him. He groaned, his eyes rolling up in pain, and he clutched at my hand, shouting out a white magic spell. I fought against it, but it tore at my dark soul, as if it were trying to rip me apart from the inside out. Of course, he was probably feeling the same way. We kept this up for a while, and then I realized that he could definitely not last much longer. I heard Lina cry out from somewhere nearby, but she couldn't attack, lest she end up killing us both instead of just me.

I was going to kill him. For some reason, I truly did not want to do this. I didn't think I would really care that much, if I ever needed to, but I couldn't bring myself to take the chimera's life. I pulled my hand away, and he slumped to the ground.

"I won't let you kill her..." He muttered, trying to stand again. I knew that I would have to kill him to stop him, and apparently I couldn't do that. I looked down at him, then vanished, so weak that I could barely teleport myself.


	2. Rebirth

Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not my own, I make no claims of ownership!

**Renascentia**

**2: Rebirth**

I fell to the cold ground limply before my Mistress, hardly able to keep up my projected form.

"Xellos?" Her calm voice drifted out to me from the darkness.

"I'm sorry, my Lady, Lina Inverse...did not approve of my attack on the dragon maiden...." I managed, coughing up the dark, black blood that stained the ground around me.

"So I saw." She replied, and I could tell by her tone that she was not happy. Not at all.

"I will, of course, return to finish the assignment once--"

"No, I do not think that will be necessary." That worried me, and I lifted my head to look up at her.

"My Lady...?"

"I saw your encounter with the chimera, as well." She said, "It is unfortunate that I have lost my greatest general and servant to a mortal."

"I...I beg your pardon?" I sputtered, my dignity momentarily forgotten in my complete disbelief at the accusation.

"A simple, unimportant, worthless mortal, and yet you could not take his life. I cannot allow even that hesitation. I will not allow such betrayal. It is a shame, but even you can be replaced." The words had hardly escaped her lips before I felt it, the sudden immense burst of power that ripped through me. I felt again as though I was being torn apart, but it was a thousand times worse. The chaotic energy spread through my projected form, and it became easier to keep it up, until I wasn't even trying to. But the pain...at first it was sweet, painful bliss, the pleasure that accompanied it filling me. After a few moments, however, the pleasure faded entirely, leaving a pain I had never experienced before. I had never been in such pure agony, and I could feel that my throat was raw from screaming. I could not hear my own screams, though, for instead a loud, horrible pounding sound filled my ears. It was rhythmic, pulsing, and so unfamiliar to me that I almost didn't notice the fact that I was feeling fear. True terror, which only served to confuse me. The pounding lessened a bit, but I could still hear it; feel it throbbing within my body. My body? I felt so...solid. I could feel everything, the cold of the air; the roughness of the ground, the trembling of my own form. The pain had stopped, and I was simply lying on my back, shaking violently, my body still convulsing.

"What...what..." I tried to ask what had happened to me, but the words weren't coming. I felt so frustrated, so angry, so horribly afraid, and I hated these strange feelings. They weren't right--I should never feel this way. I squinted in the darkness, trying to make out Juuou-sama's face, but I couldn't even see in the dark anymore.

"I couldn't just kill you, dear, you have betrayed me in the most disgusting of ways. To disobey me for a mortal, I am almost ashamed." Her voice sounded different, it hurt my ears. It was horrible sounding, so unlike the smooth, purring, dangerous voice I had always known.

"I..." I tried again, but finally just gave up and waited for her to continue with her explanation, which she did.

"I decided to punish you in a much worse way, my poor child. I have cursed you with death, but it will be a slow, lonely, terrible one." She went on, "I have made you mortal. You are a human now."

The words did not reach me at first. I couldn't comprehend them, couldn't quite understand what she had said. When they sank in, I took a long moment to stare blankly ahead in disbelief. Mortal. Human. She had made me...human? How the hell was she able to do that? But how could I not believe her? My sense of touch was heightened, and my other senses had dulled considerably. I felt so many new emotions that I couldn't understand, and that horrible pounding sound...

My heartbeat?

"Impossible..." I choked, pressing the palm of my hand to my chest. There was the pulsing of my heartbeat--something I certainly did not remember having.

"Do not question my power." She told me, and I could vaguely hear the clicking of heels. Was she leaving? She would allow me to lay here, stranded? The wolves would no doubt tear me apart the first chance they got. I tried to sit up, but suddenly I felt my body start to tingle strangely. The darkness of my former Mistress' lair faded from sight, and I came to find myself lying on a soft bed, the scent of pine wood and crisp air replacing the stench of my own blood, and exhaustion overrode panic. My body ached, I couldn't even imagine trying to move at the time. Before I could fight it, my eyelids had fallen shut, and I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.


	3. Experiences

Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not my own, I make no claims of ownership!

**Renascentia**

**3: Experiences**

When I awoke it was morning and freezing. I found that I could move without experiencing any severe pain, and so I slowly sat up. My bare feet touched the floor, and I shivered, keeping one hand on the bed for balance as I stood up fully. I then realized that the rest of my body was as bare as my feet, but I found a set of clothing on the edge of the bed. A loose black shirt and pants of the same color, with soft brown boots and a dark green cloak. I dressed, grateful for the warmth, and left the room, making my way downstairs and into the main part of the Inn. The smell of sizzling, greasy breakfast and hot cider assaulted my senses, and I suddenly became aware of how hungry I was. But I had no money for food, unfortunately. I felt incredibly weak. I was missing the familiar sense of strength; of energy. I could still feel magic running through me, but it was nothing like the power I was used to.

I moved to the door and stepped outside, immediately regretting it. The wind hit me forcefully, icy air painfully nipping at any exposed skin. It went right through my clothing, chilling me to the core. I was not used to the sensation of cold, especially not this cold, and I staggered forward, my boots disappearing beneath the thick snow. I was shaking, as though the air had taken control of my body, the frozen wind a weapon against me. I could see my breath, and my fingers were starting to go numb, which I figured was not a good sign.

The sound of my heartbeat was still driving me mad, pounding so loudly in my ears, and I felt dizzy. My body had not yet recovered from the trauma it had just been through. Of course I did not know this, I was used to rapid healing, without all these strange emotions clouding the process. I stumbled a few more steps, but my legs decided to give out then, and I fell first to my knees, and from there I slumped to the ground. I shook harder, the snow soaking my clothes and skin, freezing me inside and out.

"Hey..." A hazy voice broke through my spinning thoughts, "Are you alright?"

I couldn't exactly reply, so I didn't. Something about the voice tugged at my memory, but I didn't dwell on it. I had just begun to wonder if perhaps the stranger had left when I felt myself suddenly lifted up by a strong pair of arms. I felt foolish, lying helplessly against this stranger, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I squinted, peering up at the stranger in an attempt to get a better look at him. He was fair skinned, with short dark turquoise-colored hair. That was about all I could see, and in the end I gave up, and let this man carry me off to wherever he intended to.

This turned out to be a different Inn, closer to the center of town. I found myself again in bed, though this time I was accompanied by a roaring fire, and of course my mysterious savior. I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while, until I finally managed to stay awake for more than five minutes. I slowly sat up, finding myself unable to see in the pitch darkness of the room. I was not used to being so blind--my Mazoku eyes had been quite accustomed to the dark, but my new Human eyes seemed to be very weak. I stumbled out of the bed and found that I could conjure up a simple lighting spell, which I used to help find my way towards the door.

A sudden flash of light to my left made me pause and I turned, only to be greeted with my reflection. I could not see it very well at first, and so I moved closer to the mirror until I was able to see more clearly. I looked very much like my former projected self, almost identical in fact, save that my hair was as black as the darkness around me, and though my eyes were still amethyst, the pupils were no longer slits. So, this was to be my form for the rest of my mortal lifetime. I decided that it could be much worse and returned my attention to the door. I had nearly reached it when my mysterious companion, whom I must have awoken with the lighting spell, spoke up.

"You're awake?" He sounded tired, and I felt the faintest flicker of yet another unwanted, unfamiliar emotion--guilt.

"Yes. Sorry to wake you." Had I just apologized? I seriously hoped that this would not become a habit.

"It's fine." The creak of floorboards alerted me to his movement, and a moment later I saw his form emerge from the shadows into the pool of light which spread from my hand. He looked...oddly familiar. He stared at me with a strange look. I had a difficult time reading him, as I was used to picking up on emotions rather than having to puzzle out feelings by a person's expression.

"Do I know you?" He asked suddenly.

"I'm not sure." I confessed. I had met many, many people in my time, and I certainly couldn't keep track of everyone. The fact was, he looked extremely familiar--I wished I could feel his aura, and the fact that I couldn't made me a little angry. Humans were pathetically weak, I decided with some annoyance.

"What is your name?" I asked him, thinking perhaps a name might ring a bell.

"Zelgadis." He replied. Talk about ringing a bell--it was more like beating a gong and knocking me completely off my feet. Zelgadis? But the man before me was just that--a man. He was not the stone-skinned chimera I remembered. The only explanation could be that he had found his cure--and that was the first time it struck me that maybe I had been on the Astral Plane for longer than I had first imagined...

"What's yours?" He asked. I had a horrible moment of panic then, but quickly forced it down, irritated at how easily it had overcome me. I couldn't tell him my name, not like this. As much as I hated to admit it, I was far too weak in this form to defend myself, and I was sure he would not be pleased to see him, if he even believed me. That was the other thing--my situation was beyond humiliating, and anyone finding out the truth was definitely not something I intended to let happen.

"My name?" I had always found someway out of lying--telling half-truths was my specialty, but this was a bit difficult. There was no way I could tell him any name other then my own that would not be a lie. I hadn't told a lie in hundreds of years--but I was Human now, and Humans like to say there's a first time for everything, right? "I'm Zeric."

"Zeric..." He shook his head. "No, I don't recall ever meeting any Zeric."

"Well," I shrugged, "must be a coincidence." He nodded, though his expression remained curious a moment before he passed off whatever suspicions he might have had.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"I'm not sure..." I said again, then sighed. That would not be a sufficient answer, of course. "I was in the cold too long, I suppose." He seemed to accept this with another nod.

"You should rest until morning, at least." He told me.

"Yes...thank you." I added my gratitude, feeling compelled to for some reason, but I was really too caught up in everything to puzzle over why. I was already dizzy from standing so much, which further increased my annoyance at my accursed Human form and its horribly slow healing process.

"You look like you're about to fall over." I felt his arm as it wound around my waist to support me, and he began to lead me towards my bed. It was my first coherent experience of contact as a Human, however, and my knees nearly buckled beneath me. It was an entirely new sensation. He was strong; solid. It was a different kind of strength--not magical, but forceful all the same. The feeling of pressure against my body made my head spin. He was also warm, which was quite wonderful after all the cold I had been experiencing. Warmth. He radiated it, and it enveloped me like a blanket. It was such a comfortable feeling that I leaned in a little bit closer to him.

He helped me into bed, and I was so wrapped up in just feeling that I forgot my sense of pride and let him. He drew the blankets up around me and I pulled them close. Their warmth was nothing compared to his, but it was something, at least. It occurred to me then that Zelgadis was really a caring individual, despite the lone wanderer he often seemed to want to appear.

The weakness of my new form overcame me once again, and my thoughts were quickly drowned out by the persistent lull of sleep.


	4. Reunions

Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not my own, I make no claims of ownership!

Thank you for the reviews! Here is chapter 4--Zel's reaction to everything is coming next chapter, promise! And Xellos should soon start pulling himself back into something of his old lovable self. .

**Renascentia**

**4: Reunions**

I slept straight through to the next morning. It was much easier to see in the daylight, I found upon opening my eyes. The light made me feel less apprehensive, I realized, and guessed it was most likely due to the fact that I was no longer handicapped by near blindness.

I sat up slowly--my body still ached, though not quite as badly as the previous day--and carefully extricated myself from the warm covers and slid down from the bed, immediately regretting it as I was greeted with the cold of the early morning. I shivered, and fastened my cloak around me before tending to my personal grooming. I was in the process of combing my now black hair when Zelgadis entered. He wore the traveling outfit I remembered seeing him in most often, and he acknowledged me with a slight inclination of his head. I turned to him and offered a smile reminiscent of my once infamous grin, to which he raised one eyebrow.

"There's breakfast downstairs, if you're hungry." He informed me.

"Unfortunately, I have no money for food." I told him and he shrugged.

"You can have mine, if you want. I don't really eat breakfast."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was absolutely starving, and if he was going to offer I was going to accept, but not without at least making the attempt to act polite about it. He nodded again.

"You might have to fight for it, though." He said, giving a long-suffering sigh. I would like to blame the fact that my entire existence had just been re-defined--but I really should have been paying attention. I was too focused on the thought of food, I suppose, and could only wave it off and nod as I followed him downstairs.

A chicken wing flew past my head and hit the wall behind me. I barely had time to blink in surprise before I was assaulted with a few all-too familiar voices.

"Zel! C'mon, at least have some coffee!" None other than Lina Inverse called to the former chimera, who rolled his eyes.

"I'm coming. Can't you three eat like normal people just once?" He complained, but the sorceress had already returned to battling with Gourry over the last something-or-other. I half-froze on the stairs. It had not crossed my mind that the others might be here as well...

"Hey, who's your friend, Zel?" Gourry asked, happily holding what appeared to be some tempura just out of Lina's reach. She looked up and over towards me at his question, and I saw her eyes narrow in suspicion. I had to force myself not to step backwards, lest I fall over myself and make the entire situation even worse.

"Wait a second." She said, causing Zelgadis to close his mouth on what he had been about to reply with as she approached the two of us. I had always admired Lina's cleverness, but at that moment I could only wish that she would just return to her breakfast battle and forget whatever it was she was thinking. Of course, she did not, and I found myself under her intense scrutiny. I shifted uncomfortably, much to my chagrin, and her eyebrows shot up.

"No way. No way in hell." She muttered, thrusting her face into mine. Zelgadis frowned in confusion.

"Lina?" She didn't respond to him. Instead, she reached out and grasped me by the chin.

"What happened to your eyes?" She asked. "They're different. ...and open." I swallowed involuntarily, and forced a smile to my lips.

"Pardon me, miss, but I don't believe we've met before." I tried, only to have her roll her eyes at me. I should've known better than to try and fool Lina, and I probably did, but she was one person I definitely did not want knowing about my situation.

"Cut the crap. What's going on, Xellos?" She demanded, "I don't care what color your hair is--you think you can show your face after last time?"

"What?!" I heard Zelgadis cry in disbelief.

"I..." I began uncertainly, feeling trapped. I decided it would be best to try to play it off as just another game, but before I could speak Zelgadis shoved roughly past me, hurrying back up the stairs. I turned around, automatically reaching out to stop him, but Lina grabbed me by the arm.

"Xellos." She said, drawing my attention back to her. She was looking at me intently; her ruby eyes filled with curiosity. "What happened to you?" I really did not know where I could even begin to explain, had I wanted to, and it was too difficult to slip into my trickster mask with all those constant, confusing emotions clouding my mind. Unable to give her any straight answer I took her hand and lifted it to me, pressing it against my chest. I felt her warmth over that terrible beating of my heart, and I closed my eyes as she let out a gasp.

"Xellos?!" She pressed her fingers suddenly to the side of my throat, which caused me to reopen my eyes in surprise, "Are you human?" I could only nod. Hearing those words made me feel heavy, and I felt my shoulders slump. The reality as to my fate was setting in more each time I had to admit what I had become.

"Xellos-san is _human_?!" Amelia nearly choked on whatever she had been eating, and even Gourry stopped stuffing his face to look at me in shock. It was thoroughly humiliating, as I had expected it would be.

Lina then grabbed me and pulled me back up the stairs, away from the prying eyes and ears below. I let her lead me into another room, most likely her own. She closed the door and then turned to me, approaching me again.

"How did this happen?" She asked.

"I would really rather not discuss that." I managed through clenched teeth. Just the vague memory of it made me ill--I didn't think I could handle providing her the details. She nodded, understanding.

"Well, how long?"

"How long has it been since our last...encounter?" I asked, figuring I might as well know.

"Almost a year, I guess." She replied.

"Since then." I said with a shrug.

"You've been wandering around as a human for a year?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No. I just woke up the other day." I said, my memory a little fuzzy, "I don't remember when exactly, everything is blurred together."

"I see..." She said, rubbing her chin like she did whenever she was thinking hard about something. "It makes sense now. A few months after you tried to kill Filia some Mazoku started popping up places causing chaos, wreaking havoc--your kind of thing, y'know? Anyway, it seems he was calling himself the 'General of Juuou-sama'. I was a little confused, at first."

I was surprised that it hurt to know that I had been replaced so quickly, even though I knew it had to have happened.

"You're very knowledgeable, as always, Lina-san." I felt some of my old amusement slip into the statement. The way she spoke with me, so casually as though nothing had happened, made me feel just a little like myself again.

"Well, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?" She smirked, "Besides, traveling with a Ryuzoku means I get to hear all about any trouble the 'rotten filthy Mazoku' have been stirring up. Speaking of Ryuzoku," She lost the smirk and stepped closer to me, her eyes turning dangerous, "I should kill you right now for what you did to Filia that day. You wouldn't even be able to defend yourself, now that you're human..."

I felt the blood rush from my face and my heart begin to pound. I felt ashamed of my fear, but Lina's temper was nothing to take lightly. But then, I was Xellos, right? Keeping things light had gotten me out of imminent death before...

"But just knowing that you are finally superior to me is enough, right?" I laughed nervously.

"Finally?" Her eyebrows shot up, and then she grinned, "Finally is wrong, but don't worry, I'm not gonna kill you. You _have_ helped me in the past--and not just when you started the trouble yourself--so I guess that makes you something like a friend." She threw her arm around my shoulders and I nearly stumbled--from my relief and surprise as well as the force behind her gesture. Something like a friend?

"So are you gonna tell me why Zel's so pissed?" She asked, giving me an expectant look.

"He didn't realize who I was." I replied.

"Zel's usually more observant." She commented, still looking at me in that way.

"He might have known, I suppose, had I not introduced myself under a false name." I admitted with a shrug and she smirked.

"I think I like you Human, Xellos. I don't feel like punching you in the jaw anymore because your answer to everything is a secret."

"I don't have anymore secrets." I muttered. She rolled her eyes.

"Between you and Zel, jeez! Quit moping! I thought at least he would've gotten better after finding his cure, but he doesn't seem much happier. I don't need the both of you being depressed! " She then physically turned me towards the door and gave me a little shove in its direction. "As for Zel, you'd better go apologize to him--it'll be good practice."

"Practice?"

"You're coming with us to see Filia." She told me matter-of-factly.

"I really don't think I would live very long were I to visit Filia-san..." I pointed out.

"Well, you did try to kill her." She pointed back, "Now go and find Zel before you gain another enemy."

I bit back a comment on how I had assumed I was already his enemy, remembering our last meeting. Why had he let me live? More importantly, why had I let him live? I was condemned to this new fate because of that, and so it was definitely a question I needed to find the answer to.


End file.
